June 27th….I volunteered about three months ago to write this blog. I’ve never written one before. So I figured I would wait for inspiration from the Holy Spirit (makes sense, right?). I got a little impatient two and half months in, when I realized it’s not about prayer or a current event or any other topic I was thinking about throughout the day. I like to be in control, but I didn’t have it; I like to know, but I didn’t know; I like to plan ahead, but this was looking more and more like something that would get done later, not sooner. I got lots of “Nope, that’s not it! Keep looking and listening!” from God, but not a clue about what it would it be about until I arrived yesterday at the train station and was trying to make the last part of my journey to retreat. I couldn’t believe it, not a taxi in sight! It was hot out, and I called three taxi companies only to find that two of them don’t run on Sunday. I was still waiting on God too, of course, and it took 45 minutes for the taxi to come to the train station! Finally, as I settled in the air-conditioned taxi, I laughed almost out loud when it hit me with all simplicity that this is what I was to write on…waiting itself!
And I realized immediately that I’ve not been so good at waiting lately. I wanted everything now, and in good order or at my convenience. I like to say I was curious during my waiting, but must say I found only impatience inside. As I reflected back on these three months, I heard myself saying that waiting is a bad thing, but really it isn’t. It’s about listening and openness. It’s a skill that takes practice, and I’ve been out of practice lately! So God has me in an ideal space this week to practice listening once again…on retreat.
I’ll get back in touch with reflecting and mindfulness and silence, all those things that help me to get in touch with how my relationship with God, with others, and with myself is going. It will help me become more sensitized to the present moment. God calls while we wait, and if I can’t wait, how can I become what God has created me to be?
I’d like to thank the Ministry of Welcome for asking me to write this blog. Who knows how much longer I would have persisted in my impatience, my busyness, and my mindlessness? I hope it will somehow be of use to you too! Isn’t that one of the ways God works, giving us one another to share our stories of conversion and newly found grace. I hope you’ll discover a few opportunities to share your Good News of what God has done for you lately with others… Have a great summer!
P.S. Waiting and prayer are big parts of discerning a call from God. Having someone to talk to as you wait and discern might be just what you need. Contact one of our vocation ministers today to begin the conversation. Your wait is over.