“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25)
Not only did Thomas in the Gospel have his doubts about Jesus’ resurrection, but I remember the time when I was discerning my call to religious life, I often doubted this call. Was it really a call from the Divine? Would I be able to live this call throughout my life or would I have to make another choice after a while? With such doubts, like Thomas, I began to bargain with God, “If you choose me to live the religious life, please give me a sign….” When I did not recognize any sign, I said, “This may not be my call.” Then, when I saw a sign, I said, “It may be just a coincidence.” I do not remember how many times I said such things to God.
“Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” (John 20:27)
This invitation is a faith challenge. One day, after I shared my doubts about my call with a Vocation Sister, she told me, “I think you have a religious call. Many people have this call as well. Then, so what? Not many people make this happen.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because they keep so many doubts and don’t take any action. Are you willing to take one more step? To pursue your call, are you willing to relocate and to join us?”
This “one more step” was a critical one and a big jump in my life. In the Gospel, if Thomas did not stop his doubts and dare to put his fingers into Jesus’ wounds, he would not have believed it was Jesus. My Vocation Director was right. If I still kept my doubts and did not dare to pursue my call by moving to live with the Sisters, I would not be a Sister. Later on, I realized that this “one more step” happens not only for the discernment of a religious call but also with decision making on a daily basis.
Like Jesus, we, Dominican Sisters of Peace, are inviting you to join with us and to share our mission through your call. Are you willing to take “one more step” for your call?