Blog by Associate Colette Parker

Aisha Fraser
and Tamara O’Neal were murdered within three days of each other.

One was a devoted
Emergency Room Physician in Chicago.

One was a
dedicated Elementary School Teacher near Cleveland, Ohio.

Both were described
as being committed to helping and serving others.

Both of their deaths
were attributed to what some call “the silent epidemic” — domestic-violence.

because many of us are unaware of it, until it touches us personally. I urge
you to not wait until it becomes personal but to be proactive. Now is the time
to speak up and take action.

According to
the Violence Policy Center, three women in the United States are murdered every
day by a current or former romantic partner and when men murder women, 93
percent are killed by someone they know. (Aisha’s alleged killer is her
ex-husband. Tamara’s alleged murderer is her ex-fiance)

Statistics on
the National Domestic Violence Hotline website show that more than 12 million
women and men are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate
partner annually in the United States and that:

  • 1
    in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the United
    States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner
    in their lifetime.
  • More
    than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States
    have experienced various forms of domestic violence in their lifetime.
  • Women
    ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 generally experienced the highest rates of intimate
    partner violence.
  • Most
    female victims of intimate partner violence were previously victimized by the
    same offender, including 77% of females ages 18 to 24, 76% of females ages 25
    to 34, and 81% of females ages 35 to 49.

Does that alarm
you? If it doesn’t, it should.

Combing through
those statistics and many more (including the fact that five million children
are exposed to domestic violence every year), I was reminded that Domestic
Violence is an insidious problem deeply rooted in our culture. (Aisha’s
daughters, ages 8 and 11, witnessed the brutal beating of their mother four
years ago by their father and were again traumatized when witnessing her murder
at the hands of the same alleged perpetrator).

I am incensed
and I want to see a system put into place that protects those who need to be

October was
Domestic Violence Awareness Month and the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s
theme was #1Thing, accompanied by a challenge for each person to do just “one
thing” to end Domestic Violence. It is clear to me that we need to continue
doing our part each day.

If you don’t
know what to do, I suggest beginning by raising your awareness – the hotline’s
website (
is a great place to start.

Here are some
other suggestions: know the warning signs; don’t ignore the warning signs;
listen without judgement, if someone confides in you; keep the numbers to a
nearby shelter and National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) in your
phone; be available to help someone in need; assist a local shelter or domestic
violence organization; advocate for victims of domestic violence.

Family and
friends of Aisha and Tamara will gather on Friday for visitation, continue to
pray for them (and add a special prayer for Audrey and Ava, Aisha’s daughters).

Posted in Associate Blog, News


  1. Thanks, Colette. This is a serious justice issue. Another aspect to this came from the ex attorney general, Jeff Sessions, who said that domestic violence was not a reason to let women seek asylum in the US. Maybe he thought it wasn’t a big enough problem.

  2. Thanks Collette! This was great information. Working at the Dominican Learning Center this information is necessary to know

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