by Mark Butler, OPA
During the holiday season, I received heartbreaking news about my cousin Julie. She had been hospitalized after suffering cardiac arrest, found severely malnourished and weighing just 75 pounds. She bore the marks of violence, including a recent black eye. After multiple seizures and a lack of brain activity, her family made the heartbreaking decision to let her pass in peace on New Year’s Eve. She was just 34 and left behind two children.
Julie lived in Atlanta, Georgia, and though we weren’t close, I connected with her on Facebook in her 20s. She shared her life, her struggles, and her trauma. I sent baby clothes and gift cards to help when she had her first child, but my own challenges with my son’s disability and my mother’s declining health pulled me into survival mode, and we lost touch. I saw her a few years later at a family funeral, and it seemed like she was doing well. That was the last time I saw her.
Like many families, ours has experienced a cycle of abuse, addiction, and exploitation. Some have escaped it, but it leaves a mark on all of us. When someone dies under such circumstances, it’s natural to wonder: “Did I do enough?”
Addiction is a heavy burden that isolates those it grips. While we can show love and support, no one person can save another from such a complex struggle. What matters most are the moments of care and love we offer, even if they feel fleeting. Julie, like all of us, was a child of God, deserving of love and dignity.
As we grieve those we lose, we can honor their memory by advocating for those still struggling and fostering compassion. I hope Julie has found the peace that eluded her in life, and I hope her story inspires us all to see one another through the lens of love.
Such a great sadness, Mark. Sending prayers for you and all the family, especially her children. I pray they are safe now. Compassion is a blessing we must always share.
Mark, our brother, I thank you for this brave and loving sharing with us. I know that we, members of your Dominican family, will hold you and seeker Julie in prayer. May she now feel the deep peace of God’s loving presence, not given to her here.
Peace, Kay Mahady
Mark, I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your family’s struggles. I will pray for Julie and your family. May you rest in the peace that eluded her in this life?
Found it difficult to edit when I realized the error in my previous posting of course that last line should read: May she rest in the peace she was unable to find in this life.
Dear Mark,
It is so sad to learn of your cousin Julie and what she must have been going through in her present life. Our faith tells us that Julie is now in the arms of God’s love. Her little child will also be taken care of with love and affection. With all you are striving to deal with in your own family, I know God is caring for you and your family as well. Have no doubts about this. Go to God in prayer while you are struggling with this grief as well as your family. God is blessing you with courage and goodness, Mark. Thank you for letting your sisters know about all this. We are family, too.
Much love, prayer and healing is coming to you,
Sr. Brigid Cannon, OP
Mark, I am so sorry for the loss of your cousin and for this tragedy for you and your family. Your piece gives all of us a lot to think about and also a lot to pray about as well. Offering to help and being as compassionate and understanding as possible is sometimes all that one can do. For some people on the receiving end, that might make a bigger impact in their life than we think.
Mark, how very sad. May Julie now rest in the loving presence of God. Thank you for choosing to share Julie’s story through the lens of love.
Mark,
Sincere sorrows for Julie and the pain and heartache she felt. A wise priest once told me that every family is dysfunctional in some way. I love how we as Dominicans can recognize each others’ pain and grieve together. I think in the sharing of these stories we all become more aware and attuned to those who suffer.
Mark,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your cousin. It sounds just like you to have helped her when you could. Thank you for sharing your story and may Julie rest in peace.
Mark,
I am sorry for the loss of your cousin Julie.
May God give you and your family strength and peace during this time of mourning.
Prayers are with you Mark, I lost a cousin I was close to by suicide. So I know the feeling of “what more could I have done” But in prayer I got the answer so as you turn to God you will find that answer.
Peace be with you,
Sister Esther
Mark,
Your Cousin Julia and her Children are in my heart at this time of deep loss and sorrow. May God provide support to all touched by the life and death of Julia. Peace,