By Sr. Janice Bachman, OP

I have always marveled at what follows Jesus’ baptism in the gospel:  Jesus begins to look around to see who might be able to help in this mission of preaching and healing.  He sees Peter and Andrew by their boats and James and John, and calls them to come with him.  And, in John’s gospel, “two disciples heard him and went after Jesus…and he said to them ‘What are you after?’…Come and see…”  Nathaniel’s experience of sensing that Jesus was looking at him, observing him, before he actually called him was also very informative in my own journey.

In my own vocational call, some 60+ years ago, this question, “What am I after/what do I want?” was paramount.  I did not have an answer but carrying the question seemed important.   I felt pretty certain at an early age that I wanted to be a Sister, just like my first grade teacher.  I also had an aunt who was a Dominican Sister whom we visited (and also saw some of our teachers) each summer as we traveled to Columbus.  Over the years, my desire to become a Dominican Sister grew stronger as I also became more aware that this might be God’s desire for me as well. 

I have noticed that my discernment of vocation has never come to closure.  I sense that this vocational discernment is ongoing, and it seems very alive and is a kind of a barometer in my daily living.  This has deepened my desire to encounter the God of life, the God of love who dwells within me and lives among us all.

Discerning in daily life is also a ‘come and see’ experience of deepening my awareness of and participation in God’s own life.  So, whether discerning a vocational call to vowed religious life or being tugged to experience a deeper personal and heartfelt encounter with God, it all comes back to listening.  This is a kind of contemplative listening wherein we interiorly participate in the life of God.  Sometimes for me, this is grounded in symbols, images, sensations, or concepts, and at other times, the experience is more like an emptying of myself of both sensory and conceptual representations.  I find that experiencing God involves movement, that is, God drawing me/us closer in relationship and noticing how I respond positively to this attraction.  It can also engender a countermovement in which I may or may not be aware of patterns of resistance or pulling back from God’s drawing because of fear or anger or the like.  So, I am called to come and see again and again to listen and be on the lookout for God’s Spirit at work in the world around us.

If you are discerning a vocational call, we are here to listen with you to where God is calling you.  We invite you to contact us.  Just click here for our contact information.