By: Sr. Janice Bachman, OP

If you are wondering whether God may be inviting you to vowed religious life, your prayer life is not simply one item on a discernment checklist. It is the place where the relationship grows. It is where fear, longing, confusion, attraction, resistance, joy, and questions can all be brought honestly before God. Discernment is not first about solving a puzzle; it is about learning to listen to the One who already knows and loves you.

So perhaps the first question is very simple: How is your prayer life these days? Not how impressive is it, how long is it, or how perfectly consistent is it—but is it real? Is there a regular space in your life where you allow God to meet you as you are?

Prayer as Relationship, Not Performance

Many women begin vocational discernment with a hidden pressure: “If I pray correctly, God will give me the answer.” But prayer is not a spiritual technique for extracting information from God or guessing what God’s will might be.   Prayer is relationship. It is friendship with Christ. It is the slow, tender work of allowing your heart to become familiar with God’s voice.

A woman discerning consecrated life is invited to give prayer a place of priority, because vowed life is rooted in belonging to God in a particular way. The Church describes consecrated life as a deepening of baptismal commitment, expressed through vows and a life oriented toward prayer, loving service, simplicity, and communion. That means your prayer now is already part of your formation. It is shaping your capacity to receive love, to respond freely, and to recognize where God is drawing you.

Begin simply. Set aside time each day, even if it is brief. Speak honestly to Jesus. Sit with Scripture. Pray with the Psalms. Spend time before the Blessed Sacrament when you can. Notice what happens in you—not only dramatic feelings, but quiet movements: peace, resistance, tenderness, fear, hope, desire, or a growing freedom.

So, How Do I Know God’s Will?

This question often comes with urgency: “How do I know God’s will for my life, and how long will it take?” It is natural to want clarity. You may want a sign, a timeline, or a sense of certainty before taking the next step. Yet God’s will is usually discovered through relationship, not control. It unfolds as you become more available to love.

God’s will is not a secret code meant to frustrate you. Nor is it a narrow path you might accidentally miss if you make one wrong move. God desires your freedom, your holiness, and your joy. In discernment, the better question may be: “Where is God inviting me to receive love more deeply and give myself more freely?”

There are practical ways to listen. Stay close to the sacraments. Seek spiritual direction with someone wise, faithful, and grounded. Learn about religious life. Visit communities. Notice whether the life attracts you not only in imagination, but in concrete reality: prayer, community, service, obedience, simplicity, and the daily rhythm of giving yourself to God and others.

How Long Will It Take?

Discernment takes time because love takes time. Some women experience an attraction to religious life for years before they take a concrete step. Others are surprised by a new invitation during a retreat, a season of service, or a moment of prayer. What matters is not speed, but fidelity.

At the same time, discernment is not meant to remain vague forever. If the question keeps returning, it may be time to act: speak with a vocation director, schedule a visit, make a retreat, or commit to a regular rhythm of prayer and spiritual direction for a defined period. Clarity often comes not before movement, but through movement.

You do not have to decide your whole life today. You only need to ask what the next faithful step is. God usually gives light enough for that step.

My Desires or God’s Will?

One of the hardest parts of discernment is distinguishing between your own desires and God’s will. You may wonder, “Is this attraction to religious life from God, or is it just me?” But that question can assume that your deepest desires and God’s will are automatically opposed. They are not.

God often speaks through desire—not every passing preference, but the deep desires that lead toward greater faith, hope, love, humility, generosity, and freedom. A desire that draws you toward Christ, toward prayer, toward self-gift, and toward deeper compassion deserves attention. A desire that grows quietly over time, even when it asks something costly, may be part of God’s invitation.

At the same time, not every intense feeling is a vocation. Fear can disguise itself as prudence. Romantic imagination can disguise itself as zeal. Anxiety can make every option feel urgent. This is why discernment needs prayer, time, accompaniment, and contact with real communities. God’s will becomes clearer as your heart becomes freer.

A Simple Way to Pray During Discernment

Try bringing these questions to prayer over several weeks. Do not rush to answer them all at once. Let them become conversation with God.

• Lord, where am I experiencing your love right now?
• What desires keep returning when I am quiet and honest before you?
• Where do I feel invited to give myself more freely?
• What fears do I need to name instead of obey?
• What next step would help me discern in reality rather than only in thought?

You might close your prayer with a simple offering: “Jesus, I want what you want. Teach me to trust your love. Give me the courage to take the next step.”

Trust the One Who Calls

If God is calling you to vowed religious life, that call will not be a rejection of who you are. It will be an invitation to become more fully yourself in Christ. The call may stretch you, purify you, and ask for surrender, but it will also lead toward deeper life.

So return to the beginning: How is your prayer life these days? Bring the real answer to God. Begin again if you need to. Ask for help. Take one concrete step. Your vocation is not something you have to wrestle from a silent God. It is a gift to be received from the One who has been loving you all along.

If you want to hear more from God, and grow in your prayer life, we invite you to our Come and See retreat, October 2- 4, 2026 in St. Catherine, Kentucky. At this retreat, through prayer, reflection, and fellowship, you'll have the opportunity to listen for God's voice and explore what it means to be called to live with courage, humility, and hope as a Dominican Sister of Peace.

For more information, contact Sister Ana Gonzalez, OP, at [email protected]